40 Funny Relationship Sayings

In this post, you will find amazing funny relationship sayings.

Contents

  1. Funny Relationship Sayings
  2. Short Funny Relationship Sayings
  3. Top Ten Funny Relationship Sayings

Funny Relationship Sayings

 

“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” —Albert Einstein

 

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” —Rita Rudner

 

“A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.” —Michel de Montaigne

 

“When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.” —Frederick Ryder

 

“The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them be good at taking orders.” —Linda Festa

 

“Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?” —Rita Rudner

 

“It’s better to have loved and lost than to do 40 pounds of laundry a week.” —Laurence J. Peter

 

“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” —Socrates

 

“When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.” —Sacha Guitry

 

“Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.” —Bill Cosby

 

“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” —Frederick Ryder

 

“My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.” —Jack Benny

 

“You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.” —Erica Jong

 

“The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends.” —Bobby Kelton

 

“Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.” —Helen Rowland

Short Funny Relationship Sayings

 

“Save a boyfriend for a rainy day — and another, in case it doesn’t rain.” —Mae West

 

“Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.” —Groucho Marx

 

“Relationships don’t always make sense. Especially from the outside.” —Sarah Dessen

 

“If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.” —Regina Brett

 

“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” —Laurence J Peter

 

“Never marry a man you wouldn’t want to be divorced from.” —Nora Ephron

 

“Relationships give us a reason to live. Revenge.” —Ronnie Shakes

 

“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.” —Mae West

 

“Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” —Carroll Bryant

 

“Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” —Richard Jeni

 

“For her, marriage was a sweetened version of murder.” —Daniel Saldaña París

 

“I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.” —Will Rogers

 

“Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” —Phyllis Diller

 

“Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.” —Jewish Proverb

 

“People change and forget to tell each other.” —Lillian Hellman

Top Ten Funny Relationship Sayings

 

Here you will find top ten funny relationship sayings selected by our team.

  1. “Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” —Carroll Bryant
  2. “Relationships give us a reason to live, Revenge.” —Ronnie Shakes
  3. “Never marry a man you wouldn’t want to be divorced from.” —Nora Ephron
  4. “When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.” —Frederick Ryder
  5. “I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.” —Will Rogers
  6. “The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends.” —Bobby Kelton
  7. “Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.” —Helen Rowland
  8. “Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” —Phyllis Diller
  9. “A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.” —Michel de Montaigne
  10. “By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” —Socrates

 

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